I have been refining and playing with the practice of self-fidelity for over a decade now.
It took me three years to ‘systematise’ all I have learnt into a practice that I could share with others – in the form of my book, coaching frameworks and programs.
The practice of self-fidelity offers a life-long learning loop woven from the four threads of WAKING UP, LETTING BE, LETTING GO and LETTING IN.
For me, this practice has been a much-needed antidote to a world that is constantly trying to convince me that I am not enough or that I need to pretend to be something I am not (so as not to be an inconvenience).
Despite investing so much thought and energy into the creation of this practice, I don’t like to think of myself as an ‘expert’. I see myself as a fellow pioneer whose struggle and liberation is bound up with my readers, co-creators and clients. My understanding of the practice continues to evolve.
Something I am often asked (and often find myself pondering) is the question: What is the difference between self-fidelity and authenticity?
Here is how I describe the practice of self-fidelity in my book:
“Self-fidelity is a faithfulness not only to the vibrant expression of our essential nature but also to its wholehearted inhabitation. It is about the expansion of our working lives to allow space for all we have the potential to become. It’s a rejection of the belief that we need to change who we are to succeed at work. Instead, self-fidelity is based on an understanding that vitality and success flow from freeing ourselves to be who we are. Self-fidelity emboldens us to activate the true potential that exists within each of us, activating our true collective potential.”
The practice of self-fidelity ACTIVATES, AMPLIFYS and ENRICHES the concepts of authenticity.
It ACTIVATES authenticity through powerful practices that provide the “how” of sustained, authentic leadership.
It AMPLIFYS our most powerful (and authentic) ways of being by giving us the skills, courage and the discernment to say “this is me” emboldened by a connection to our most powerful innate qualities as humans (including; compassion, courage, connectedness, creativity and playfulness).
It ENRICHES authenticity because it cultivates deep trust in our goodness, power, uniqueness and worthiness, along with a strong awareness of our essence.
Self-fidelity guides us to reconnect to the goodness that lies beneath all that built-up self-protective hardness, so we can say to the world:
This is who I really am.
This is me.
I am courageous.
I am creative.
I am compassionate.
I am connected.
I am playful.
I am unique.
I am worthy.
I am imperfect, and good.
I am always learning, and always enough.
And perhaps, most importantly, over time, the practice of self-fidelity gives us faith in ourselves – more specifically, faith in the very best versions of ourselves.
As we restore our faith in our ourselves, we restore our faith in each other.
Self-Fidelity Practice to Play with This Week
This week I invite you to reflect on this burning question:
What small step can I take this week to LET BE, LET GO or LET IN in service of putting down my mask and fully inhabiting the very best version of myself?
“Faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty.” Brene Brown
I create Hello Monday Morning to give generously and give often to a growing global community of self-fidelity pioneers. My weekly posts share small yet mighty self-fidelity practices to uplift working life. Subscribe here and get the first two chapters of my book Self-Fidelity for free.