My son recently came home after a really tough day.

In a fit of rage, he threw his brand new sneakers over our backyard fence and into the neighbour’s pool.

So, I took a very deep breath. And then another. I tuned into what was happening inside of me.

Then, I had words with him. Calm but firm words.

Then, I walked with him next door, explained the situation to our neighbours in a playful, kind way.

And our lovely neighbours retrieved his soggy sneakers.

Later that evening, after having a shower my son told me that he was really sorry.

He told me how much he loved me. He said that I was the best mum in the world and that perhaps we was not ready to start playing Fortnight after all (a huge win because he has been begging to get that bloody game for months).

My point is this: The people we care about need our compassion the most when they least deserve it.

However, to be able to keep our heart open in these moments we need a whole new understanding of self, and a whole new understanding of power.

Thanks to my self-fidelity practice, when my son chucked those sneakers, I was able to avoid being hijacked my the parts of me that were enraged and embarrassed.

And because of this, I maintained just enough connection to my core to sense that throwing his beloved sneakers over that fence was a cry for help.

A cry for support from his family.

I was able to keep my heart open to him when parts of me wanted to yell, to punish, to disconnect – to send him to his room.

All of which would have been a twist of the knife in his already pained little heart.

I went to bed that night with my heart feeling full and soft. Reflecting on what had happened, I realised that I can navigate my way through moments when my inner “Little Miss Catastrophiser” is screaming inside my head: “Your kids are feral and spoilt. Your life is a complete and utter disaster and its all your fault! DO SOMETHING!

I felt proud of myself, but not because I thought I was “the best mum in the world”. I felt proud of myself because of the inner work I have done. That I had persisted with my inner work, even when it felt like I was opening a terrifying can of worms.

That I had cultivated a practice that was really was helping me to stay connected to the best version of myself in moments that matter. And that really was gold.

We all parts that compel us to lash out. Parts that desperately wants to control the world around us. Parts that believe that we can’t handle hard things. Parts that want to MAKE. IT. STOP.  by any means possible. But conceding the drivers seat to these parts is not true power.

True power is about having the capability to take good care of the many different parts of ourselves so we can compassionately and confidently navigate our way through struggle and into a more hopeful, more resourceful, and more empowered state.

True power comes from knowing how to rise above our pain and fear to reconnect to that centered place of wisdom, love and strength.


Last week I did two different deliveries of my brand new Being True Masterclass. The feedback I received was incredibly uplifting.

More and more, leaders and beginning to see the strong connections between authenticity, belonging, engagement, health, performance and retention. At this is great news for everyone.

And it all begins with the co-creation of workplaces where people can feel free to be themselves. And that begins with equipping your leaders with capability to cultivate true power by staying true to their true nature in good times in an bad. And this is precisely what I teach in my masterclass

The 4 outcomes of my masterclass are:
✓ An awareness of the true COST of disconnecting from your authentic self
✓ A deeper understanding of the root CAUSES of this disconnection
✓ An introduction to an evidence-based CURE that restores your connection
✓ A chance to play with practices that build the CAPABILITY to stay true to yourself

Reach out if you’re interested in an authentic leadership learning experience with a difference –

Knowing others is intelligence;
knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength;
mastering yourself is true power.