Is there a part of you that is determined to remain hard-working and vigilant regardless of the challenges you may be facing right now?

We have many parts or subpersonalities. This multiplicity is universal, natural and beneficial. While all of our parts are good, they can sometimes subvert the natural expression of our essential nature.

We all have a ‘part’ that feels it has to manage our lives in a way that keeps the most vulnerable parts of us safe.

Sometimes our ‘inner manager’ (or ‘inner critic’) can drive us relentlessly. It is usually blind to changes in our environment. It can be rigid, stoic and unable to adapt.

My ‘inner manager’ came into being at a time in my life when I needed to see tangible proof of my value in the world. She believes that being a ‘low-maintenance high achiever’ is that proof.

Today I understand that I can never achieve my way to worthiness.

I also understand that when this part of me takes control of the wheel she puts me at risk of burnout.

She is way too immature to drive – she can barely see over the dashboard and can’t reach the brakes.

I came across this powerful reframe n the midst of the 2021 COVID-19 lock-down – You are not “Working from Home”, you are “At home, during a crisis, trying to work. Upon reading these words, I felt my hyper-vigilant inner manager instantly soften.

It is possible to appreciate and befriend your ‘inner manager’ and help it find a healthier, more sustainable role to play in your life.

Self-Fidelity Practice To Play With This Week

In the week ahead invite you to take a few quiet moments to start to get to know your inner manager. By maintaining a state of open-hearted curiosity, it is very possible to begin to get to know you inner-manager. You might like to extend your appreciation for at least trying to keep you safe and see what happens.

If you want to work more deeply, you can try this short guided meditation.

As you get to know your inner manager, here are some great questions to ask this part of you:

  • What role do you play in my life?
  • What are you afraid might happen if you did not take on this role?
  • Is there a different role you might like to play?
  • What do you need from me to feel seen and acknowledged?

Being able to identify parts of me and working out who’s in the drivers seat has been the most valuable part of this experience. Whilst all my parts are valuable, they might be taking me to places I don’t want to go.

Self-Fidelity Workshop Participant