Feeling our Feelings

I recently celebrated my 47th birthday.

I am feeling happier, stronger and healthier than I have for many years.
I reckon that feeling this way has a lot to do with my self-fidelity practices.

The more I practice, the more I understand who I really am at my core, and the more familiar I become with the ‘voices in my head’ that can pull me away from my core.

My practice empowered me to make the decision to “un-invite” alcohol to my birthday dinner.

Whilst I have never been a big drinker, alcohol has been part of my life for the last 30 years and has always been on the guest list for life’s “celebrations”.

The more I work with my ‘parts’ (the ‘voices in my head’) the more I see that the choice to drink has rarely come from my wisest self. Sure, sometimes I consciously make the choice to savour a good glass of wine with good food and friends, but most of the time (if I am being really honest with myself) drinking is about feeling LESS of something.

In my teenage years (when I was soooo desperate to be “cool”) drinking was really about part of me longing to feel less awkward.

In my 20’s (when I was partying pretty hard) drinking was really about part of me longing to feel less responsible.

In my 30’s (when I was living with domestic violence) drinking was really about part of me longing to feel less trapped.

In my early 40’s (as a busy working parent) drinking was really about part of me longing to feel less stressed out.

At the height of the pandemic (as a home-school “teacher” and a business owner) drinking was really about part of be longing to feel less overwhelmed.

Don’t get me wrong, I am no angel. I still have the occasional drink. The difference is that today, I drink with more awareness of the inner dialogue attached to the decision to drink.

My self-fidelity practice supports me to feel more like myself – and to be more honest with myself about why I sometimes feel like I need to feel less.

I celebrated my birthday with few glasses of non-alcoholic bubbly and some delicious Japanese takeaway with my family. And I am proud to say that I did my very best to ‘feel all the feels’ of loving connection.

Are you curious to explore how the practice of self-fidelity might support you to honor your authentic self?

I would love to talk. You know where to find me.

Although many of us think of ourselves as thinking creatures that feel, biologically we are feeling creatures that think.

Jill Bolte Taylor